thesis statement: the scene from my house to school was a beautiful picture.
paragraph
topic sentence: the picture was really lovely amnd lively in the morning
the sun was rising
the blocks of willows were against the river
the cool wind currents
the pure water currents
cut aacross the vast field
daisy: yellow, white
stopped and rested under a big tree
birds were siging on the branhes
butter flies: yellow, white, colourful
bees were winding to look for honey
the sunlights were shning through the branches
the red gravel road had trees along
my shoes were all in red
the sun rose higher and I came to shool
conclusion
I love my school time. those days were wonderful and meaningful for me for there birds,butterflies and flowers. whenever I think it I feel very gleeful. Time and again I wish I could go to school again.
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The opinions are good: B, but you should divide them into some obvious ideas. One more thing, I think your thesis statement and conclusion don't refer to one united idea, it can make the readers confused when they want to understand what you want to write.
Trả lờiXóathe grammar is all right: B, but I think it will be better if you use the present simple tense, because the readers will think your writing is not new if you use the past simple tense.
the thesis statement and body paragraph is good, clearly, should give more your feeling. yet, the conclusion doesn't support to the topic. it is outside.
Trả lờiXóaideas and vocabulary : A .